The X Factor

Saturday, April 27 2k13

Ponorogo

11:25pm.

 

]So tomorrow I’ll have a test. A revelation of my dreams all  these time. Me going to meet those fucking brainy-either-classy-fellas. And I haven’t even touch any books up until this time. Cool. The dreamer better die dreamless..

And…  I met him. Really really met him. Not in my dream. Right in front of my eyes. Right flipped in my retinas. And I wonder, if only we’ve never been there. I wouldn’t have these wet- thing lining across my cheeks. I was picking batik for Adi then someone yelled out, and the other one followed. My hands got wet of sweats and my heart beat like a horse-run. Still looked why, I ran inside the store and tried to hide. And voila!

I spoke less, I stared not more than 5 seconds, and I think too much. How could that thing find me and the chance to freeze me up?

Today my heart breaks a little and built a little. The breaker was you and the builder was you. It breaks, of the things we used to do explode, one by one, like a time bomb inside my head. And it built, of the hearts we used to care.

I’ve got a lot to say.. but the right time never seems so right to me. You don’t even call my name or even mind to talk to me. And I wish I didn’t know it was my fault so that I would have bravery to do what i’m supposed to do, but I’m not. Knowing that now I’m still speechless and my song is Maudy Ayunda – Tahu Diri. I’ve been so long in avert of you. I did and  I know it. And I say..

Our song in the radio, but it don’t sound the same

When our friends talk about you it does is just tear me down

‘Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name

Too young, too dumb to realize

That you should’ve brought me flowers and held my hand

Should’ve gave you all my hours when I had the chance

My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways caused a good strong man like you to walk out my life

Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made

And it haunts me every time I close my eyes

Although it hurts I’ll be the first to say that I was wrong

I know I’m probably much too late

To try and apologize for my mistakes

But I just want you to know

… I hope you buy her flowers, I hope you hold her hands

Give her all your hours when you have the chance

… and do all the things I should’ve done, when I was your woman.

And about the wet things that never stop…maybe it’s because I’m just a little girl like we used to argue. And maybe it’s because of another reason. The eX Factor. :')