Once upon a time, a guy in my log

With that smile, i secretly fall for you. It's none of a good news, rather the worst one. I never wanted to fall in this hole. Yeah maybe everyone could take me and throw me everywhere you want, but please, no, not, never in this place. This place is dangerous, cause once you fall, it will put you to death for you to rise. I'm scared.

I met the Neptune yet.

Say i'ma traveler. Cause i really do, this holiday. I've been a very nice and cutest wanderer. Motorbiking to Madiun alone is too mainstream now, i do it almost everyday, the thing i used to get scared of being hit by trucks. It was all because of OSIS thingy. I had to do juniors' orientation preps. Proposals, admission letters, signatures, licenses and agreements i stuck on these things. And i thought i need an escape. Last week i wandered to Pasuruan, to my aunt's house and been a babysitter all at sudden--i forgot that my aunt had such a baby day care. It was okay with 2 or 3 babies, but 14 is just... But i'm happy, Fahri, Satria, Wina, Fawwaz, Judy, and the other babies were just acting so cute.

So on an afternoon i went to see Refrain with Zhi and Dili in Madiun, had lunch and chit-chats, i met Gabriela and got a good news that Ike was also accepted there, and back to Ponorogo right after that. No, we went to Zhi's house first at Dolopo. We made another silly plan to wander (again), this is the other Jogja case, but nearer. And that silly+stupid+fool plan came true in the other day.

Klayar.
I've ever heard that name but never been there for sure. So, i, Dili, Adi and Zhi's family went there first. Since Teleng Ria had been too mainstream. The road was...ugh..ah..i won't say here. But it got paid, with the view. The very beautiful beach view, the cliffs right and left, the horizon, the waves, the great winds...i just didn't wanna go home. This is one of the most beautiful runaway i've ever made. This is Javanese Tanah Lot. This is Neptune's home. Don't ask me to go home. I don't want to. Finally, let me tell you how we met Neptune...

Klayar from distance

 Err... wanna be like that too one day ._.v

 Told ya. It's Javanese Tanah Lot.

 Swipe me swipe me away~

 Zhi's mom and dad hihihi 

 We're taking self camera with timer cause nobody we know would take one -_-

 So...

It's always been so hard to say goodbye.

Hey i've said it!

Misconceptions of PHP

Nggak keminggris lagi deh. Mau galauan soalnya.
Nggak tau. Ya Tuhan, nggak tau. Entah ini bakat atau takdir, hamba nggak pernah tahu.

Jadi...kita nggak akan pernah tahu seseorang serius apa nggak sama kita, sampai kita berani tanya. And when the time comes, dan kamu tahu ternyata bukan kamu orangnya, all you ever do was mengkeret jadi bola dan pengen dilemparin sejauh-jauhnya. Tapi kadang aku ngerasa semua ini benar-benar aneh. Aneh yang klise. Karena, harapan (yang ternyata cuma akting) itu begitu sempurna di mataku. Benar-benar dimainkan tanpa kesalahan. Dan saya, si pemirsa, tentu saja memberi standing applause dengan senang hati. Si aktor pun tertawa girang oleh keberhasilannya dan beranjak pergi tanpa peduli.

Jadi, singkat saja, i fell in love to a player.
Aku terlalu salah menafsirkan semuanya. Karena semua itu, dulu, jauh sebelum rasa itu, semua begitu terasa biasa. Tak ada yang spesial darinya. Tapi saat kamu kembali merecallnya kembali, semua itu seakan spesial, tanpa kamu sadari. Akhir-akhir ini aku selalu merasa diperhatikan, distalk, diperlakukan spesial, etc etc. Saat kemudian aku sadar, dari dulu, hingga sekarang, gak ada yang berubah dari bahasanya dan perlakuannya dan perhatiannya ke aku. Hanya ada satu yang berubah, rasaku buat dia.

Rasa itulah yang malah menghancurkan segalanya yang sebelumnya normal dan baik-baik saja.

Rasa itu yang membuat semuanya terlihat begitu indah. Ia membuat segalanya seakan menjadi mudah dan begitu gemerlap..tanpa kusadari.

Dan ketika rasa itu hilang, aku merasa telah begitu bodoh telah menganggap lebih semuanya.
Jadi ini bukan salah si PHP, tapi ini salahku yang salah tafsir tentang ruang kosong yang sebenarnya selalu dia berikan, sebagai harapan. Karena sebenarnya, dia TIDAK pernah memberiku harapan itu. Dan aku telah terlalu dibutakan mindsetku hingga juga dengan bodohnya, akhirnya aku tahu selama ini dia mencintai orang lain.

Hmm..
Tapi, jatuh cinta sama player is somehow a fun thing, karena memang asyik, jika kita tahu proporsi antara peluang dan pengharapan yang tepat. He gives you all his strength just to impress you, and yeah, you'll be easily get impressed even with the littlest thing he does. He will do it again and again, sampai kadar kebutaan cintamu penuh. Dan setelah dia merasa cukup, he will definitely leave you, heartlessly. Because all he had done yo you, he did it without any purpose, without any kinda special feeling. Dia cuma inginkan kesenangan. To him, girls are barbie dolls. Habis manis sepah dibuang.

Tapi, Tuhan sayang aku. Aku diizinkan tahu siapa sebenarnya orang yang selama ini mendapatkan perhatianku. Dan aku bisa let go heartlessly juga. Jaadiii, kurasa aku udah bisa memfilter semuanya dengan proporsional. And to fall in love with a player...it's undeniably a loveliest shit you've ever done. I've tried them twice.