This body is a mess we should be grateful of

Please let me be mean for a while. Or, probably you will feel the same about this.
That sometimes you realize your body is a whole amazing mess. Your organ systems you worship, they only worsen the mess.
So I hope you've reached this point.
The point I've seen no relevance between mind and speech. Between intentions and deeds. Expectations and realities.
I've felt like there's too much false alarms that finally bring us to misunderstandings. Little did we say what we mean, do exactly what we intended, or simply achieve what we want...even if we've been working hard on it.
I feel like I'm pretty much disintegrated that I dislike myself for being seen too pathetic at some point. For not getting what I want. For being not myself.

I wish I could invent a machine or a system to fix this problem. So people would stop faking theirselves, stop "tape over your mouth--scribbled out the truth with their lies" and simply remove masks from their faces. I'm done with lies already. Please stop acting so beautiful just to make me look like a fool.