Wait, happiness? We’re familiar with it. But really, i’ve
never really knew what’s it and what’s the point of happiness. It’s just smile
and laughs and love, no? Or ‘when we’re together’ thing? To me it doesn’t
explain happiness clearly. And here me goes, i’m turning this way and this day.
And i’m going to say that this is ‘OH..’
day. I finally understand what unexplainable thing wants to explain itself.
This is June 29. I should’ve gotten my last report. I was in
pain of sleeping the night before. I used to think that social or science is
okay. That depends on how’s your effort. But in that night, i just realized that....i’m no good in social...at all.
I’m no economical growth thinksucker, i’m no memorizing robot, i’m no good in
making lines for accountance, i’m no good at social at all and i just realized
that as a matter of fact, I’VE DONE NOTHING TO OVERCOME THEM ALL. I did no
anticipating-programs whether i would be in social/science class. All i ever
thought about is i’m good in science and my instinct would lead me to it. But still,
i had no any prep if i..forcefully, had to go to social class. And i started to
get an insomnia thinking about it. And in that time, all i could do was praying
for the best. It’s absolutely shocking to, in the end, 7 hours before the
student report distribution day, you’re not ready to get what you deserve.
Allah tahu semalem aku doanya maksa :’D
I slept at half past 1 and fully woke up at 7. I had a plan
to make Adi’s birthday surprise so i didn’t go to Madiun with my parents, yet i
wasn’t ready at all to see my scores. And this is a pic from her birthday. Happy birthday, girl. I love you {}
**
“Lid kamu ranking 7,
Sarkem 6, aku 9, Abim 8, Adi 10 J”
...
Zhizhi said. That’s
when i got the buzz.
“IPA”
Mom said. The next
buzz.
Part I ended. God knows His beggar a way too much. And i’m a
lucky person. Too lucky.
Then, at night i got a mention from my acquaintance from 3rd
AFS test in Malang couple weeks before. She told me to open my account and the
next second i cried.
God, this is shocking.
I’m not ready for this.
But you told me to. This time. When i’m this dizzy to
understand what really happens.
Happiness.
The first word i got when i felt that turn of moment. I don’t
know how to explain happiness for sure, but i know this is one of its
definition. My heart felt so damn warm like being hugged by a big panda, so
damn cold like it’s holding boxes of ice, and so...damn... amazed like i opened
an opera curtain and see a new upcoming life of myself. My sofa i sat on
suddenly transformed into a trampolin. It flies me to the sky, bounces me over
and over and over again. I’m awake from my long bad dreams and dark shadow. Oh
god, this is happiness. The happiness of the happiness. The happiness i’ve been
dying to live it up. The lost city i’ve been wandering all these time. I
finally found it.
Guys, i’ll never be enough by saying thank you. I leave my
life for You. And The State never seems this close...
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