14.7.12

This nite was flawless, don’t you let it go

June 9.
Hari peringatan terakhir untuk kita menyebut nama SMP Terpadu sebagai “sekolahku”. Menyakitkan, karena hari itu adalah hari pelepasan. Ya, kami dilepaskan. Mengapa? karena tak ada lagi yang perlu dilakukan disini selain melangkah dan melepas semua kenangan itu.

Aku tak tega, aku tahu kau pun juga sama. Kita sama-sama tak tega untuk melepas. Semua yang kita lalui begitu berharga bagiku. Ketika senja tak lagi indah kita pun saling berpelukan dan melepaskan segala peluh, melepas segala keluh. Kau kemudian menatapku dan berkata “Jangan lupakan aku.” Mungkin kau gila karena kau tahu jawabannya. Bagaimana mungkin aku lupa denganmu, kalian. Aku hidup untuk kalian, dan kalian hidup untuk menemaniku.

Seakan setiap detik berharga, kau untaikan lagi puisi itu. Rerumputan dan ilalang menyanyi syahdu seiring dengan lagu yang kau mainkan. Seisi langit menahan tangis atas kepergianmu. 



Lilin-lilin kecil melayang-layang dalam hampa kegelapan hatiku dan hatimu saat itu. Angin mendesah keras menyuruhku berhenti. Duniaku berduka. 



Aku tak mau kembali dalam kesepian. Aku tak mau lagi berjalan sendiri. Aku ingin berjalan bersamamu selamanya, namun tak bisa. Jalan yang dulu hanya ada satu, kini bercabang menjadi dua, tiga, sepuluh, empat puluh, bahkan sembilan puluh.


Maafkan aku, aku hanya takut kehilanganmu ..




Maafkan aku tak bisa memahami maksud amarahmu, membaca dan mengerti isi hatimu.
Ampuni aku yang telah memasuki kehidupan kalian, mencoba mencari celah dalam hatimu.
Aku tahu ku takkan bisa, aku tahu dia yang bisa menjadi seperti yang engkau minta.
Namun selama nafas berhembus, selama aku bernyawa, aku ‘kan mencoba menjadi seperti yang kau minta..



tertawalah atas perpisahan yang tragis ini kawan..


 saranghaeyo..

31.5.12

dawn voyage

I still remember the look on your face,
been through the darkness at 1:58,
The words that you whispered for just us to kno. You told me you loved me so why did you go away?

I do recall now the smell of the rain. Fresh on the pavement, i ran off the plane.
That July 9th the beat of your heart,
It jumps through your shirt, I can still feel your arms ..

But now I'll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes
All that I know is I don't know
How to be something you miss

Never thought we'd have a last hug,
Never imagined we'd end like this,
Your name, forever the name on my lips ..

...

So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep. And I'll feel you forget me like I use to feel you breathe. And I'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are. Hope it's nice where you are ..

And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day. And something reminds you, you wish you had stayed. We can plan for a change in weather and time. I never planned on you changing your mind ..

So, I'll go, sit on the floor wearing your clothes,
All that I know is I don't know how to be something you miss
..



I never thought we'd ever last hug.
Never imagined we'd end like this.
Your name, forever the name on my lips.
Just like our last kiss, forever the name on my lips.
Forever the name on my lips, just like our last.






Awake at 3.41am by someone. Then back to sleep.. found myself get down on my knees. Cried. Begged. Regretted. And how miserable .. you blamed me for anything. Any thing. I'm still loving you. But now i'm trashed, and scattered. Oh.

29.5.12

"i wish nothing but the best for you"

Kau tahu?

Semalam aku sendiri. Dan itu adalah rasa paling 'sendiri' yang pernah aku rasakan seumur hidupku. Seperti sebuah kesunyian yang luar biasa. Sayangnya sunyi itu bukanlah sunyi atas ketenangan, tapi pasrah. Oleh semuanya yang kusadari telah hancur keping demi keping.

I thought we'd get to see forever, but forever's gone away ..
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday ..

I should've know it would be a song of mine.




Oh God, aku cuma nggak nyangka ternyata aku ini hina banget ya. Sampe-sampe aku jadi alasan buat kehancuran seseorang dengan seseorang yang lain. Aku se'murahan' itu ya sampai kamu bisa menjudge aku seperti itu? Aku cuma gak mengerti, kawan. Sungguh gak mengerti atas jalan pikiran kalian berdua. Sebenarnya jalan pikiranku atau jalan pikiran kalian yang murahan ya?

Just a reminder, aku kenal kamu. Luar dalam. Dua tahun terakhir yang kuperjuangkan hanya untuk bersamamu, mencoba mengerti kamu, saling membenarkan, membelamu, menyayangimu, seutuhnya. Dan yang kau lakukan? Kau lebih memihaknya. Dia yang mengenalmu karena kau cantik. Dia yang menyayangi segala kelebihanmu.Dia yang MEMBENCI kekuranganmu. Dia yang sok benar dan sok mengerti segala tentangmu. Baiklah, kurasa ini akhir dari segalanya. Kembalilah padaku jika suatu saat kau mau. Kembalilah dan sembuhkan sakit hatiku. Itupun jika kau mau, dan kau mampu.

I heard that you're settled down
That you found a boy and you're in relationship now
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess he gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?

Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited

But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, "


You know how the time flies

Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited

But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."
Yeah

Nothing compares

No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?


Never mind, I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg

I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."














God, i broke up with my best friend ..