A Dramatic Turnaway to 16

In order to be a legend, we should start everything from nothing. As simple as you can say 'from zero to hero'. Now i'm a totally change person--upcoming hero, Amen. When building reputation is the goal, i mean not those kinda reputation but i'm sure you got what i mean. Walking with sun over my head, handwashing, cooking, no internet access that at last forced me to use pulse, drilling myself with books 24/7 were just being my meal everyday. And do you know my principle now? No weak, no pain, no mercy. Just what kungfu holds.


No doubt, this is a post about my birthday. My sweet 16 and also my sweetest birthday ever. Now that i'm away from my parents, my brother, my all families. Knowing myself trying to stand tall among a great war of my life. Kay,

and it was August 2 in the early morning on fasting month. In fact i was so tired of doing unending tasks. We did them all and decided to sleep at Rahma's room, with me, Adi, Dilia, and Miranda. It was a super-windy night. My laundries blown away by a great wind. The dorm became so much horror--or yes you can say that we are a newbie and of course we're easily scared by rumors. I was waiting for Pak Bombat when suddenly someone knocked Rahma's door--it was him. But dang! He didn't bring my sahur food. I thought i've told Adi  to message him but it was a miscommunication. Haha~ So then the kind Pak Bombat turned back to his house to have me some meal. 5 minutes then, then i've gotten my food. I did eat, but everyone leave. I didn't even noticed that it might be a trick or whatever is that. If you believe--I forgot if it was my birthday. I was alone at Rahma's room. My cellphone dead. I was shivering and put my blanket, ate all by myself. Then Rahma came back, Miranda either. But they didn't even talk to me. I was silenced. Okay. 10 minutes. Then someone knocked the door. I opened it and ..

Happy birthday to you.. Happy birthday to you..
Happy bithday dear Ulid.. Happy birthday to you..


Adi. Dilia. Oh you both looks sooo pretty with candlelight ray through your face. They brought 3 leftover roti sisir and we ate it together :) And how fool was i, no picture guys.
I did nothing but smiling. I was so touched. So. Touched.


Then the evening i had a plan with 10HOOLIGANS to have buka bersama at Lombok Idjo resto madiun. It was a pretty-ancient-supercrowded place with a yummiest kremesan chicken i've ever tasted. We all gathered without Rengga the class leader. But it was a warm rendezvous as always, Nanie joined even she's not moslem. I was just torned my chicken when someone held my shoulder, i turned, i saw Adi bringing a beautiful cake. Then everyone sang Happy Birthday song for me.

I was going to cry since i just knew them all and what i got? I got a special present, you guys, this warm friendship, your hugs, and also that cake. So what should i say then? I love you. I love you, guys and it never goes this bad.


August 4.
A day when i should go Ponorogo to attend a dinner with all members of SMP Terpadu's 7th batch at Bangor resto. The comers are unexpected. They are a lot. Jimmy got frustated of collecting money, but he seemed happy since he got money on his hand. Haha. I met my old friends, my hunting friends, my band buddies, my kpop-er colonies, everyone including him.
We were eating delicious fried rice with sausage and lettuces, also the legendary beverage--Iced Tea. I was chatting with Afan, my huge drummer, since we had a very little time even just to greet each other. Also Aan, my second bobby and Enggar, my older-little brother and also my mate. We were getting warmer when Dila, Alya, Ayuk walked from distance, sang happy birthday, brought cake, and candle.

My wishes told, my candle blown, my first cake was for Ghozy--who was also the birthday boy, my best friend, my Kakak, my one i never give up, my diary. Happy birthday ya, kak.. :)

Then, jadilah kita coret-coretan pake krim. Wajahku jadi riot deh.

A plain day, or I thought it was before, turned out to

 be one of the greatest moment in my life.


I didn't even know how to describe what I felt.

Happy was the simplest word.

This nite was flawless, don’t you let it go

June 9.

Hari peringatan terakhir untuk kita menyebut nama SMP Terpadu sebagai “sekolahku”. Menyakitkan, karena hari itu adalah hari pelepasan. Ya, kami dilepaskan. Mengapa? karena tak ada lagi yang perlu dilakukan disini selain melangkah dan melepas semua kenangan itu.

Aku tak tega, aku tahu kau pun juga sama. Kita sama-sama tak tega untuk melepas. Semua yang kita lalui begitu berharga bagiku. Ketika senja tak lagi indah kita pun saling berpelukan dan melepaskan segala peluh, melepas segala keluh. Kau kemudian menatapku dan berkata “Jangan lupakan aku.” Mungkin kau gila karena kau tahu jawabannya. Bagaimana mungkin aku lupa denganmu, kalian. Aku hidup untuk kalian, dan kalian hidup untuk menemaniku.

Seakan setiap detik berharga, kau untaikan lagi puisi itu. Rerumputan dan ilalang menyanyi syahdu seiring dengan lagu yang kau mainkan. Seisi langit menahan tangis atas kepergianmu. 

Lilin-lilin kecil melayang-layang dalam hampa kegelapan hatiku dan hatimu saat itu. Angin mendesah keras menyuruhku berhenti. Duniaku berduka. 

Aku tak mau kembali dalam kesepian. Aku tak mau lagi berjalan sendiri. Aku ingin berjalan bersamamu selamanya, namun tak bisa. Jalan yang dulu hanya ada satu, kini bercabang menjadi dua, tiga, sepuluh, empat puluh, bahkan sembilan puluh.

Maafkan aku, aku hanya takut kehilanganmu ..

Maafkan aku tak bisa memahami maksud amarahmu, membaca dan mengerti isi hatimu.

Ampuni aku yang telah memasuki kehidupan kalian, mencoba mencari celah dalam hatimu.

Aku tahu ku takkan bisa, aku tahu dia yang bisa menjadi seperti yang engkau minta.

Namun selama nafas berhembus, selama aku bernyawa, aku ‘kan mencoba menjadi seperti yang kau minta..

tertawalah atas perpisahan yang tragis ini kawan..

 saranghaeyo..

Future ola future

Boosh! Got ya.
How's life? I'm fine really hard. The moon is coming right now and just God knows what was that, hehe. Even had somewhat hurricane-venus these days. However we've puzzled the puzzle and fix 'em up already. Not quick. It was a-yearlike-4-days. Terrible, yes that. Ok, i'm a dumb but i'm liking to say much. "It's better to say too much than never to say what you need to say", eh? John Mayer told me. Blame him if somebody still holding that fcking "Silence is gold"-thing. As always, the next words will have no relations with sentences before this. You know me so well. Ah.. really.

May 3.
Starts from Rosalia Indah night bus agent. We got there with a lotsa hope packed on the suitcases. We were ready to rock. Yea i didn't know her feeling so let's better to say "I was gonna rock". It was a tiring 20 hours just to settled on the seat. It went better since i saw my mum beside me. She always succeed gaining my mood before. First we got the Super-executive bus class because our exact bus was in Solo. Whoa! Could you imagine that? We were feeling like in a jetplane!! Wide left to right and also back to forth recleaning-seats with 1-2 formation. Then i ask mum. "Do you think what i think mum? I'm hoping the time rotate against the clockwise. Much slower." Haha. Seriously guys, it was C that meets O, that also friend with Z who had just married Y. But the wonderfulness usually don't last forever. And it got us just to stay in the bus for 3 hours. Hah, then we met out bus at Solo. Executive-class. Not bad. And our night spended by sang around with John Lennon who danced and kissed a lot with Yoko Ono. "Dumbass conductor, we have a lot of underage brats here".

May 4.
Got there with live-surviving cab. Felt like sen no kaze ni natte blowed my face. No not wind, solar-smoke. We got blackened. And thats i want. "Got blackened of adventure" and i think i accomplished my mission.
We entered the resort named "Kinasih". First time i saw that, it seemed ratherlike a hotel than boarding school. And then the huge gate opened by the securities. Then ... feels like someone played a Busker Busker - Cherry Blossom in force. Soo.. green. Like a drama.

Oh god, this is the best school. Ever. I ever seen before. Am i will be here for sure? I was asking myself. And God knew i was fear, but ihad to do this one for everyone. Like i was got into a war with students allover Indonesia. Like i got to punch their face one-by-one but i was faceless. Then i remembered my brother said "Cemungudh kakak" then i felt filled up.

We were waiting at the dorm-will-be lobby for almost 4 hours to get the room key. I was a room with Claudia, Lidya and Lintang. So, there was 3-dia at room. Claudia, Lidya, and Maulidia. Haha fun, and it made us stay inside the room when everyone was lost in nowhere to get know some strangers, yes--sleeping. Sampe hampir magrib, without Lintang.

At nite, we all gathered in what they say Bale Bengong to had some dinnerbox and had fun with the seniors. Sang some songs and at last i got fascinated with a man from the city of nowhere. I was fallen in love with his voice. Then we went back to the dorm at 9. Then played some joke until 10. And finally slept.

I was kinda saying that It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday. Ah..


May 5.
6 am. Got our suitcases laid down outta the roomdoor. Got ready to move on. After we done some breakfast we had a photo session and registration, then made some lines to hear some speech from the principal. And someone in my line vomitted. How sweet that she spread her weapon to somebody in front of her. Yuck. Bad start today.

8am. Academic test, math and english. not less than 100 questions had to be done in less than 2 hours, plus we had to write a story in at least 200 words. Lucky that at least they didn't say it was single count. Okay done. Another luck, i did the test along with the tomcats in the windows. Haha

11am. I was the first group called to have some interview with seniors from SA. My heart was a kinda played around with a treadmill. But with the violin player beside me (he looked like a girl actually so i amused. hehe) i felt better. We chatted with some seniors, and the one i remember is Arnold. He's a kind man i think. My name called, my life staked  the following seconds then.

12pm. having FGD with cool guys. Felt like sen no kaze ni natte lagi deh. Haha

3 pm. I went bekasi with my aunties uncle, cousins and niece there picked us up. We got jagorawi highway, it was raining and i like it. My journey ended. Even i'm still afraid, at least Allah knows i've done my best.

May 6.
went Mega Bekasi and find this picture. I bought a jeans only. I was wealthless. haha

Had some brownies making with my aunty and my mum. And got this pic. I hope you see it, brother. :)

May 7.
It was so cloudy and raining in the morning in Bekasi. I was upstairs and feeling cold by myself. I miss you.. And i think i was gonna miss you.

I went Ponorogo. With a sack of hope that you will be my future. Yes, future. I've dreamed to be with you far away before.I'm still waiting for a reason to make me stay longer there. Longer to be part of yours. Longer than anyone ever thought about.

Painté

On a holy night, those were what i'm doing..

and this is the result !

Oh, too blurry? Sorry, i was purposing not to publish it! HAHA :D

C-R-I-B

It's gonna be a long post full of pixies, but, well, keep reading guys!
Somewhere in the world, there is a place where i belong to. A place contains me day and night. One who hears my laugh, cry, and prayers. A dumb witness of my brashes.

...

This is who we are :)

that's me and my old pals,

And on 10th March 2012, 10:36am we done this abstractual creature.. That's me and your hands, boi!

another helpers ..

And this tiny giraffe is Gee, and behind him--The bear--lies big Ted, ma boyfriend since i was 2nd grade of Elementary School.

 above is Shawn, a gift from Shofi :)

and again, this is my most favorite exposure ..

this is my cupboard, see? too much good stuffs are bad stuffs ._.

ma complicated schedule, it has changed for at least 3 times up to this semester ..

The blue one is Blui, one of Crane Squadron made by my childhood friends, Alya :)

i keep a little dealing with you, that Joker card i found behind my house, near the ditch. My mum used to tell me that i can't keep this, and i really wanted it so i kept the J-card behind ma lesson schedule. hehe :)

and also, these guys' name in Korean.. (nobody at home can read Hangul, so i preferred to write them on Korean. hehe ^^v)

 

When i was 6 yo. Really love this picture. Naasa looks still powerless, eh? And i was just a fat little girl :)

my niece's and my stuffs hanging on..

Upon the sweet wardrobe! VOILAA!

KRABBY PATTY!

And this is the hierarchy of some sleepy stuffs belong to me. (sorry, there was my mum. hehe)

Attention, the next is quite embarassing..

To be honest i put this since a year ago. That's a 'meteran kain' i used to measure my height. But it doesn't really work. You know why? I haven't get some cm-s. Hehe

i opened back my diary and found this little guy,

and also this little hero!

Naasa Ahmad Fikri, you're absolutely precocious! ^^v