"Apa harus ada kesengajaan untuk sebuah alasan akan perubahan? Karena semuanya cuman soal waktu, waktu yang berlalu dan harus selalu menyisakan sebuah keputusan. Yang kadang pahit."
Maulidia
26.8.12
Dawn's Humm
Kembali aku terkapar di ranjangku, dalam dinginnya subuh yang bisu.
Semuanya telah berlalu, begitu jauh dan membiru
Asaku,
Yang kau bunuh tanpa sengaja
Dukaku,
Yang kau tuai dengan senyum manja
Pasrahku,
Yang kau jabarkan dengan bersamanya
Namun kukira aku takkan menyesal,
Cerita biru itu terasa begitu kental,
Mengompori dalamnya otak-otak dangkal,
Aku takkan meluangkan lagi,
Sedetik waktu yang kupunya untuk menyesali,
Sungguh tiada arti,
Sebab kau pergi tanpa permisi,
Dan kerlingan dua bola mata itu semakin mencekik,
Aku bukan satu-satunya,
Korban penyiksaan tanpa-sengaja
Kuyakin ada seribu lainnya
Bahkan tangisi hal yang sama
27 Maret 2011. 2:33 am.
Aku suka banget puisiku yang ini. Always makes me amazed, i could write them when i was 8th grader. When...in fact, everything was much complicated than now. I was wide awake for everything misteriously annoying.
the only impossibility
Jika aku haruslah seindah dirinya untuk bisa kau lihat, maka aku akan mundur selangkah, dan berpura-pura tidak pernah merasakan apapun, dan tidak juga menangisi kelemahanku dihadap semua orang, dan cukup engkau saja yang tahu bahwa aku pernah menyimpan ‘kelebihan’ satu-satunya yang kumiliki untukmu, yang kau dan aku pernah menyebutnya sebagai ketidakmungkinan itu.
5.8.12
A Dramatic Turnaway to 16
In order to be a legend, we should start everything from nothing. As simple as you can say 'from zero to hero'. Now i'm a totally change person--upcoming hero, Amen. When building reputation is the goal, i mean not those kinda reputation but i'm sure you got what i mean. Walking with sun over my head, handwashing, cooking, no internet access that at last forced me to use pulse, drilling myself with books 24/7 were just being my meal everyday. And do you know my principle now? No weak, no pain, no mercy. Just what kungfu holds.
No doubt, this is a post about my birthday. My sweet 16 and also my sweetest birthday ever. Now that i'm away from my parents, my brother, my all families. Knowing myself trying to stand tall among a great war of my life. Kay,
and it was August 2 in the early morning on fasting month. In fact i was so tired of doing unending tasks. We did them all and decided to sleep at Rahma's room, with me, Adi, Dilia, and Miranda. It was a super-windy night. My laundries blown away by a great wind. The dorm became so much horror--or yes you can say that we are a newbie and of course we're easily scared by rumors. I was waiting for Pak Bombat when suddenly someone knocked Rahma's door--it was him. But dang! He didn't bring my sahur food. I thought i've told Adi to message him but it was a miscommunication. Haha~ So then the kind Pak Bombat turned back to his house to have me some meal. 5 minutes then, then i've gotten my food. I did eat, but everyone leave. I didn't even noticed that it might be a trick or whatever is that. If you believe--I forgot if it was my birthday. I was alone at Rahma's room. My cellphone dead. I was shivering and put my blanket, ate all by myself. Then Rahma came back, Miranda either. But they didn't even talk to me. I was silenced. Okay. 10 minutes. Then someone knocked the door. I opened it and ..
Happy birthday to you.. Happy birthday to you..
Happy bithday dear Ulid.. Happy birthday to you..
Adi. Dilia. Oh you both looks sooo pretty with candlelight ray through your face. They brought 3 leftover roti sisir and we ate it together :) And how fool was i, no picture guys.
I did nothing but smiling. I was so touched. So. Touched.
Then the evening i had a plan with 10HOOLIGANS to have buka bersama at Lombok Idjo resto madiun. It was a pretty-ancient-supercrowded place with a yummiest kremesan chicken i've ever tasted. We all gathered without Rengga the class leader. But it was a warm rendezvous as always, Nanie joined even she's not moslem. I was just torned my chicken when someone held my shoulder, i turned, i saw Adi bringing a beautiful cake. Then everyone sang Happy Birthday song for me.
I was going to cry since i just knew them all and what i got? I got a special present, you guys, this warm friendship, your hugs, and also that cake. So what should i say then? I love you. I love you, guys and it never goes this bad.
August 4.
A day when i should go Ponorogo to attend a dinner with all members of SMP Terpadu's 7th batch at Bangor resto. The comers are unexpected. They are a lot. Jimmy got frustated of collecting money, but he seemed happy since he got money on his hand. Haha. I met my old friends, my hunting friends, my band buddies, my kpop-er colonies, everyone including him.
We were eating delicious fried rice with sausage and lettuces, also the legendary beverage--Iced Tea. I was chatting with Afan, my huge drummer, since we had a very little time even just to greet each other. Also Aan, my second bobby and Enggar, my older-little brother and also my mate. We were getting warmer when Dila, Alya, Ayuk walked from distance, sang happy birthday, brought cake, and candle.
My wishes told, my candle blown, my first cake was for Ghozy--who was also the birthday boy, my best friend, my Kakak, my one i never give up, my diary. Happy birthday ya, kak.. :)
Then, jadilah kita coret-coretan pake krim. Wajahku jadi riot deh.
No doubt, this is a post about my birthday. My sweet 16 and also my sweetest birthday ever. Now that i'm away from my parents, my brother, my all families. Knowing myself trying to stand tall among a great war of my life. Kay,
and it was August 2 in the early morning on fasting month. In fact i was so tired of doing unending tasks. We did them all and decided to sleep at Rahma's room, with me, Adi, Dilia, and Miranda. It was a super-windy night. My laundries blown away by a great wind. The dorm became so much horror--or yes you can say that we are a newbie and of course we're easily scared by rumors. I was waiting for Pak Bombat when suddenly someone knocked Rahma's door--it was him. But dang! He didn't bring my sahur food. I thought i've told Adi to message him but it was a miscommunication. Haha~ So then the kind Pak Bombat turned back to his house to have me some meal. 5 minutes then, then i've gotten my food. I did eat, but everyone leave. I didn't even noticed that it might be a trick or whatever is that. If you believe--I forgot if it was my birthday. I was alone at Rahma's room. My cellphone dead. I was shivering and put my blanket, ate all by myself. Then Rahma came back, Miranda either. But they didn't even talk to me. I was silenced. Okay. 10 minutes. Then someone knocked the door. I opened it and ..
Happy birthday to you.. Happy birthday to you..
Happy bithday dear Ulid.. Happy birthday to you..
Adi. Dilia. Oh you both looks sooo pretty with candlelight ray through your face. They brought 3 leftover roti sisir and we ate it together :) And how fool was i, no picture guys.
I did nothing but smiling. I was so touched. So. Touched.
Then the evening i had a plan with 10HOOLIGANS to have buka bersama at Lombok Idjo resto madiun. It was a pretty-ancient-supercrowded place with a yummiest kremesan chicken i've ever tasted. We all gathered without Rengga the class leader. But it was a warm rendezvous as always, Nanie joined even she's not moslem. I was just torned my chicken when someone held my shoulder, i turned, i saw Adi bringing a beautiful cake. Then everyone sang Happy Birthday song for me.
I was going to cry since i just knew them all and what i got? I got a special present, you guys, this warm friendship, your hugs, and also that cake. So what should i say then? I love you. I love you, guys and it never goes this bad.
August 4.
A day when i should go Ponorogo to attend a dinner with all members of SMP Terpadu's 7th batch at Bangor resto. The comers are unexpected. They are a lot. Jimmy got frustated of collecting money, but he seemed happy since he got money on his hand. Haha. I met my old friends, my hunting friends, my band buddies, my kpop-er colonies, everyone including him.
We were eating delicious fried rice with sausage and lettuces, also the legendary beverage--Iced Tea. I was chatting with Afan, my huge drummer, since we had a very little time even just to greet each other. Also Aan, my second bobby and Enggar, my older-little brother and also my mate. We were getting warmer when Dila, Alya, Ayuk walked from distance, sang happy birthday, brought cake, and candle.
My wishes told, my candle blown, my first cake was for Ghozy--who was also the birthday boy, my best friend, my Kakak, my one i never give up, my diary. Happy birthday ya, kak.. :)
Then, jadilah kita coret-coretan pake krim. Wajahku jadi riot deh.
A plain day, or I thought it was before, turned out to
be one of the greatest moment in my life.
I didn't even know how to describe what I felt.
I didn't even know how to describe what I felt.
Happy was the simplest word.
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