Maybe, we'll never really know how fast time has rocketed over our universe 'til someday we try to remember something that once ever happened and we be like
"Wow, it's been so long, isn't it?"
It happened to me, too. Still related to speech, I miss debating over all. It seems just yesterday when I was so dumbfounded in the library, with those fellas sticking on books and laws and motions and everything. I miss the heat that it got me sweating everytime I delivered my 5-minutes speech, so much aware of any point of interruptions by the opposition team. I miss the way it made me brave, cruel and mean. I recalled those things that I finallt be conscious about "Wow, that's a year ago."
And then, I randomly write 'Karpov' on my English book and my friend next to me asked me
"Seems like I ever heard that name. Whose name is that?"
Then I told her it was fourth (or third?) book of Laskar Pelangi's quartet written by Andrea Hirata.
"I read Laskar Pelangi when I was in grade 5."
"...I was in grade 5."
"...in grade 5."
"...grade 5."
"...5."
It echoed in my head right away.
Wow. That was seven year ago. I was a kid at that time, knew nothing about what would I be this time now. I myself didn't know how will I look when I grow up that now I'm a grown up. And why can't we just know that? I think we'll find it so much easier since we just got to follow the path and the lines written by Him and be so much at ease.
But think about it, being able to see the future would be a total bore. Why?
Imagine we are able to see the future.
"Today I'm a student and 10 years from now I'll be having my own family company."
"I'll be investing my company to Singapore because 15 years from now Singapore will be a leading country in Asia's economics and at that time my son will be studying for his master degree in Birmingham"
or,
"I should tighten my seatbelt, because I'm gonna crash myself 10 minutes after this."
"Should I ask for apologize to everyone right now? Tomorrow morning at 9:43 am I will be announced dead."
-________-
This life will lose its power of surprise. Yesterday is a memory (or history), today is a present (read: gift), but tomorrow will no longer be a mystery. Because it won't be mysterious at all! Everything is already too obvious. Well, maybe something that God wants to give us is the power of surprise in life. Surprises keep us feel something.
Although, we might sometimes have that feeling. It's a hunch. A presentiment. And it matters, anyway.
Sometimes those presentiments and hunches try to mock us and act like they are know-it-alls. It's one miserable fact we cannot deny, because it really is true. Sometimes a presentiment knows better than any fortune teller you could ever find. It knows 5w+1h about something that will happen to us or to other people. But a presentiment won't get you anywhere but to say 'yes it will, but nothing I can do about it' or 'if it's meant to be it will be'. Sometimes we only wait on our benches and wait someone to bring us news whether or not that presentiment gets real. And the rest, we spend on thanking God--being grateful, or even crying--cursing at ourselves why do we had to feel like somebody's
whispering life cheats on our ears and let us down seconds after he's done.
And maybe that's why I prefer not to have any of those feelings. Better being dumb and dull than to know everything a way too much.
At least for now. I wish I didn't remember either day nor date tomorrow is. If only I remembered, I wish it weren't followed by the memory playbacks.
And at least for now, I only wish I forgot to feel.
