Faded Glory

Sebuah Sulak. Terambil pada pagi yang cerah oleh seorang gadis kriwil kurang kerjaan. Berjongkok manis di teras dengan kamera di tangannya. Dan, boo! Mereka tertangkap lensa begitu saja. (Resize and exposure check only with Photoshop CS4)

Baiklah i picked the good ones. Thanks for visiting, guys! Ciao! |..!

The Rendezvous

Iyiyi! I won't talk much just let you know i've been from Jogja aaand so right i went there to get some good view in my Candy. Check 'em out!

Nobody but Me

26 12 2011

Prambanan Temple, Jogjakarta

EOS 1100D

EF-S 18-55mm

I'm Here, Buddy

26 12 2011

Prambanan Temple, Jogjakarta

EOS 1100D

EF-S 18-55mm

You Hide My Sunset

26 12 2011

Parangtritis, Jogjakarta

EOS 1100D

EF-S 18-55mm

Shut, Survive

26 12 2011

Parangtritis, Jogjakarta

EOS 1100D

EF-S 18-55mm

Dominance

26 12 2011

Prambanan Temple, Jogjakarta

EOS 1100D

EF-S 18-55mm

  

Pour

26 12 2011

 Parangtritis, Jogjakarta

EOS 1100D

EF-S 18-55mm
 

You Can Stand Under My Umbrella

26 12 2011

Prambanan Temple, Jogjakarta

EOS 1100D

EF-S 18-55mm

Sandy Secure

26 12 2011

Parangtritis, Jogjakarta

EOS 1100D

EF-S 18-55mm

Chase The Light

26 12 2011

Paranngtritis, Jogjakarta

EOS 1100D

EF-S 18-55mm

 

Perspective

26 12 2011

Parangtritis, Jogjakarta

EOS 1100D

EF-S 18-55mm

 And that was how i let waves swept myself,

So far away ...

Though I Call

I already know what you’re gonna say. I wanna keep it away. I don’t never wanna let you go ..

Don’t say a thing, don’t turn back, I already know that you are going to say. With my head down I keep looking at my watch, My heart is clenching.

If I look at you without any words, I can’t stand it because I’m so nervous, I keep calling your name .. But you don’t answer.

Why?

The conversations and words, our meetings and our times keeps getting shorter, I can’t send you away like this.
Don’t leave, I don’t want to forget you
I only have you
I’m still loving you you
Don’t pretend like you don’t know my love, because you know everything..

Bye bye ..
Your words are a lie,
My eyes cry,

Tonight ...

Okay, I already know, but,
Like how old clothes get the warn out spots, our love shared a lot of times.
Unlike the beginning, it’s just pausing for a while.
After speaking of farewell, I know for sure that you will definitely regret it.
I will give you plenty of time for you to swallow the words you are holding in your heart...

Why?

After saying that you love me, how can you turn away so easily?
I will change, anything works so just tell me what to change. The answer to our problems is never farewell. If the love between you and I froze like a thorn in the cold winter, I’ll try to melt it again.

You, you, just like now, just don’t let go of my hands ...

Bye bye,
My words are a lie,
My eyes cry,
Tonight ....

Bite of haha ^^

aku pengene ngene...
aku pengene ngono...
pengen iki pengen iku akeh tunggale...
kabeh... kabeh...kabehe.....iso dikabulake..
iso dikabulke nganggo kresek ajaib...
aku pengen mabur bebas neng angkoso..
*oooyy kinciran pring*
la la la... aku tresno buanget...









DO-RA-EEEEEE-MON !!! :D ♥

Today Was A Fairy Tale

Wondering. I was on the hardest time in my life. Like won a free-fall contest. I was the first and nobody wanted to deal with that. Thats ironic i wanted to let myself die behind the curtain with a sacrificed post displayed on my notebook screen. Awesome, i’ve never felt so hurt before i saw and know you—A funny tall thin man with a most sharp gaze i could drop dead. It was 12am and i was still crying in my bed. Hoped someone would love to understand me but i was sad like hell. 1am, someone messaged me and said

“You know that i’m thinking of you right now?”
“Yeah, but nothing will done even i tell you the truth, just know that i’m sad, you don’t need to know the reason.”
“I do need it. I know who you are. I know what you gonna do and I won’t let you go farther. Tell me right now .. Trust me, sweetheart.”

Err, i was thinking a lot. His last message just made me cried worse. He knew about him and me. How could i be in love with him like crazy in 3 years and what hell i did along these time. But okay. I told him. He finally won my heart. I fell asleep ...


**

... Ia hanyalah seseorang yang terlalu nyata untukku saat ini. sedangkan dia? Aku, dengannya, bagai hidup dalam cerita fiksi yang tak jelas pelariannya. Menjalani kisah dengannya seperti membaca novel fiksi yang tak berhalaman akhir, tak juga bersambung. Sudahlah, aku menyerah, Tuhan, dan kau, maafkan aku. Jauh dari dalam hatiku, aku meminta maaf padamu. Maafkan kerapuhanku, maafkan jiwaku yang ternyata sepengecut ini.  aku pun tak pernah menyangka aku akan mengambil keputusan ini. maafkan aku jika kau ternyata merindukanku jug. Aku tak menyalahkanmu, aku .. aku hanya terjebak. Jejakmu tak berarti. Menelusurinya setiap hari hanya membuatku semakin terjebak oleh misteri-misteri yang terus muncul di otakku yang sudah sumpek. Maafkan aku, sungguh .. Maafkan aku, karena aku memendam perasaan seperti ini. Aku mencintaimu. Tapi kau tak pernah datang. Aku

                                                              

Dan lagi, terimakasih atas pelajaran yang kau berikan untukku. Aku sungguh belajar dewasa darimu. Terimakasih telah mengajariku cara mencintai seseorang yang sesungguhnya. Aku akan belajar menyayanginya sepenuhnya..

Yeah i picked them from a short story made by myself. And you guys know what? I done the whole story before that condoled night. Actually i really know that the story just like a curse in my life and i was purposing to made that so the real ending is a mystery. And yes, i’m with him now. A big tall monster with a LOT of love. Actually i’m just as tall as half of his shoulder when i stood up right in his side. Hehe But, WHATEVER ! He’s like a prince of mine on a fairy tale. A happy ending is the purpose. Wait, are you understand? Well, i confess, i loved them two at the same time. HAHA~ :D

Wanna know who’s him?

When you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you ♥

You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors
It's the morning of your very first day
And you say hi to your friends you ain't seen in a while
Try and stay out of everybody's way ...

So let’s remember to a morning on a school when she hugged you and tried to show that she was missing but you ran away with no words. And the day when she was quarreled with you and tried to take a topic about her day but you ignored. Also, the day when se met her friends, said a hello and got no response.

Yes, that’s annoying when someone you loved ignored you. It’s a holy suck you wanna cry but nowhere to run and share. And actually we all know that you’ve been tricked. Yeah, you’re tricked!

Then it was 21th December morning, still no hope for lots of happy birthday greetings for her beloved. 10am she started to cry, and Bramasto sang a poetry but it just made her cry louder than before. Nobody at home remembered. The other dang men just stared at her and got a blank in his mind for all his plots with me. Finally, i entered her class and sang ..

“Happy birthday to you..

Happy birthday to you ..

Happy birthday sahabatku ..

Happy birthday to you..”

Stucked and hell-yeah, we hugged each other so badly. She looked at my face with her eyes red—full of tears and said “I miss you”. Her eyes just so right.

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen feeling like there's nothing to figure out
Well, count to ten, take it in
This is life before you know who you're gonna be

...

And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall
I've found time can heal most anything
And you just might find who you're supposed to be
I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen

Day goes by and just then i sat down to write this. A super beautiful night to me and them. Had no bla-bla-bla and just went there to buy a tart. But, “Aku ngutang ya?” Ghozy said and okay done. The surprise was fail because of her mother actually (swear i can’t tell here. Hehe), and his father didn’t make the situation got better with said “Masya Allah”, how innocence. But we were really there, a lotsa prayers and wishes cracked up on her mind. The candles just blown up and the candlelight party was over.

I love to remember her seemed so awkward with that little tragedy. And got so much worse when Farhan came spontaneously. She gave some cakes to her mother first, to me, Ghozy, then Farhan that came last. Nyumm :9

Finally, the little spark closed. I just kiss her cheeks and said “Happy birthday, dear”. Wondered when will we have a time just like this that now seems so impossible. I was very glad, i am. And i hope she feel the same, let her be happy for the rest of her life. ♥

But in your life you'll do things greater than
Dating the boy on the football team
But I didn't know it at fifteen

When all you wanted was to be wanted
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now

 (our new Romeo and Juliette.Hehe)

No, they are just a bit i wanna tell you. More than your rest of time to tell everything about her and us. There’s a mighty capacity of memories lies behind. Does she know that I love her a lot? Don’t mind. I only realized she’s now fifteen and it would just a big chance for her to change everything that has been necessary unchanged. So thanks God to gave her a long life, good luck, sweetheart. I love you :) 

Take a deep breath girl
Take a deep breath as you walk through the doors ...

umkajej supahgnem

And.. this 'really good news' been the dessert of my perfect day. Thanks a lot, 비 .. For every fight i won and lost in the name of you. For the years i've been waiting and your messed me in second. I don't blind and i know that's referred to me. thanks for wasting my all prayer and wishes. I know i gotta do a big red mark on my wishlist then. You really taught me a lot. Thank. You.

"미련없이 바로 너를 선택했어.."

                                                 Park Jungsu

Irony

.. lidah bisa menghancurkan baja

                                          - Ghozy Habibi




.. that sweetest evening ended by my story told to Shofia, by my question answered by Ghozy, the deadly gaze he couldn't stop, the rolling pressure from this tiny academy, the grass that looked me crying, and the clouds that never stop defend theirselves from sunshine glory. Here, i found the sky changing everytime, i breath the strange atmosphere. Light is never enough when everyone scrambled to get the first position of everyone's idol. And how 'bout us? They just don't get it. Your all tongues just don't has any rib.


"I'm just what you see, this is me,"

Ya. A super big arrogance you'd never want to understand. Just a remembrance for our wasted ironies.

.. Irony above irony.

Morning Is Never This Good

Hello, i just took a bath. It’s Monday morning, 7.40am when i write this. Yeah, i’ve left for so long and now I’m back with a lotta stories i wanna tell. Then, it was 20 – 11 -2011 , perfect day do tie, when i got my heart broke and puzzled up for an hour. No, that’s such not important to tell. Then y’all know what? I stayed on my Grand-uncle (How to say mbah-lik in English?), it’s in Garut, tasikmalaya. I love been there. It’s such a cold little rural town. I’ll out his house and find a beautiful scenery of Papandayan Mountain. With my Mom and Dad, Grandma, and my Mbahlik-mbahlik we went from Madiun Railstation about 7.30pm and got Tasikmalaya Railstation about 3.45am. Fast, eh? I just realized that lil thing, too. Hehe

Enjoy, Readers!

Background Song : Perfect Blue - Sungha Jung

Udut?? Is it different with ‘Ujud’? Haha, this is fun ladies and gentlemen.

Yeah, it’s just a little, we really brought ‘em up. And the next pics taken on 21-11-2011, on Garut, near Tasikmalaya.

An old Oak ..

 Actually, there was wallets in the air, but my cam just can’t reach it. Hehe

 Haha, i love this wunn :)

Finally, i know that ‘Otista’ is the acronyme of ‘Otto Iskandar Dinata’. What a clever girl.

Taken by Samsung C3-033i Selcam, 21 – 11 -2011, and they’re not edited anyclicks.

고마워! Itte-rasshai :)

A day to remember ...

This is been i left for year. No other, just listen.

You say you gotta go and find yourself
You say that you're becoming someone else
Don't recognize the face in the mirror looking back at you

So I'll let you go, I'll set you free
And when you've seen what you need to see
When you find you, come back to me

 Come Back to Me – David Cook

Dear September,

Speak up, Dear, cause I cannot hear you, I need to know why we don't trust them..

Explain to me this conspiracy against me!

And tell me how I've lost my power ..

Where can I turn? Cause I need something more

Surrounded by uncertainties I'm so unsure of

Tell me why I feel so alone cause I need to Know to whom do I owe

Conspiracy - Paramore

Dear October,

Summer has come and passed

The innocent can never last

wake me up when September ends ..

here comes, the rain again falling from the stars

drenched in my pain again becoming who we are..

as my memory rests, but never forgets what I lost

wake me up when September ends ..

Wake Me Up When September Ends - Greenday

I still fell asleep. And still kinda didn’t want to realize anything. Any thing. Until you came a night when i just memorized all the moment we’ve been left behind. Each tears, each step, each crack of laugh, each smile, each gaze, each word, each vowel, each promise, each bullshit, each you, each me, and each us. I’ve counted them, one to uncountable.

And Dear November,

I'm so glad you made time to see me.
How's life? Tell me how's your family.
I haven't seen them in a while.
You've been good, busier than ever,
We small talk, work and the weather,
Your guard is up and I know why.
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night,"
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to December all the time.

These days I haven't been sleeping,
Staying up, playing back myself leavin'.
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,
I watched you laughing from the passenger side.
Realized that I loved you in the fall.

And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye".

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time.

I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile,
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night --
The first time you ever saw me cry.

Maybe this is wishful thinking,
Probably mindless dreaming,
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right.

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't.
So if the chain is on your door I understand.

But this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December...
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realize what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I go back to December all the time.
All the time.

Back To December – Taylor Swift

Oh, November ..

It's so long were the nights when my days once revolved around you. Counting my footsteps, praying the floor won’t fall through, again. My mother accused me of losing my mind, but I swore I was fine.

You paint me a blue sky, and go back and turn it to rain. And I lived in your chess game,  but you changed the rules everyday. Wonderin’ which version of you I might get on the phone, tonight.
Well I stopped pickin’ up and this song is to let you know why.


Well maybe it’s me, and my blind optimism to blame. Or maybe it’s you and your sick need to give love and take it away. And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand. And I'll look back in regret how I ignored when they said 'Run as fast as you can’.

Dear  Someone, I see it all now it was wrong, don’t you think fifteen’s too young to be played by your dark, twisted games. When I loved you so, I should've known.

You are an expert at sorry and keeping the lines blurry, never impressed by me acing your tests. All the girls tha you run dry have tired lifeless eyes, cause you burned them out.

But I took your matches before fire could catch me, so don’t look now, I’m shining like fireworks over your sad empty town.

Dear Someone,

I see it all now that you're gone

Don't you think I was too young

To be messed with
The girl in the dress

Cried the whole way home, I should've known ...

***

The One I Worried From The Very First Time

Hello, sweetheart.. I know you’re doing right with ur life now, that there’s no more me at all again. And you never wanted to look at me, at us, who were look at your each step. And to be honest, this is the one i worried, from the very first time since you were with me. Seems like it’s too hard to explain one by one here, more than words to show my feeling, right now. Your kind, your smile, your laugh, your sobs, your words, your talks, your walks, your lies, your acts, everything. Your leave mixed my head just like a big storm, i’m overboard and yet ready to deepydeepydeepdrowning.  This may gonna be a temporal problem but this’s the first time you’ve given a really different  sensation in my mood and successfully gone this bad.

Do you remember when everyone pulled you down? Who saved you? I did.

Do you remember when you were full of tears? Who wiped your tears on your side? I did.

Do you remember when everyone blamed your reason? Who cared for you? i did.

Then else, did you ever think why was I’m doing it all? Because i care, when everyone don’t. now i see that i was your release. What a stupid girl am I. But you have to know this one: you’re going too far but it won’t fixed anything in your life.

Well now it’s up to you, someday you gonna fall because of your really-own-self and you’ll have nowhere to run except me and her. i don’t wanna hate anyone this time, but i beg you, please try to change. Even the change isn’t yourself, at least you make us and all smile for your old innocence that we missed for so long. I still wanna be with you, forever

Who Says

Who says I can’t get stoned?
Turn off the lights and the telephone
Me and my house alone
Who says I can’t get stoned?

Who says I can’t be free?
From all of the things that I used to be
Re-write my history
Who says I can’t be free?

It’s been a long night in New York City
It’s been a long night in Baton Rouge
I don’t remember you looking any better
But then again I don’t remember you

Who says I can’t get stoned?
Call up a girl that I used to know
Fake love for an hour or so
Who says I can’t get stoned?

Who says I can’t take time?
Meet all the girls on the county line
Then wait on fate to send a sign
Who says I can’t take time?

It’s been a long night in New York City
It’s been a long night in Austin too
I don’t remember you looking any better
But then again I don’t remember you

Who says I can’t get stoned?
Plan a trip to Japan alone
Doesn’t matter if I even go
Who says I can’t get stoned?

It’s been a long night in New York City
It’s been a long time since 20 too
I don’t remember you looking any better
But then again I don’t remember you ...

A Fiction

Semlikum everyone. How's life? I haven't better yet and actually don't really want it.

Yes, ucapkan selamat pada si bodoh bermood biru dan bersepatu Converse biru ini. karena apa? Sepatu indah yang sangat saya sayangi setengah hidup itu telah tertangkap BP untuk kedua kalinya. Sebenarnya baru kedua kali, tapi gue ngerasa kasihan, sama kaki gue. Nyesek. Nyaris gak bisa pulang gara-gara tersitanya sepatu oleh Mister Pujo yang baik hati dan diktator itu. Ngah, selfmad. Hehe

Sebelumnya memang saya menuliskan sekalimat untuk mem-bersambung-kan postingan sebelum ini. Tapi, yah, gue lupa mau nulis apaan. Jadi, jalanbuntunya, buat postingan baru. Betapa labil.

Udah 26 hari Ramadhan. Begitu banyak. Bahkan terlalu banyak untuk bisa ditulis disini. Banyak senengnya, dan juga banyak pelajarannya. Ah, too much to say sih sebenarnya. Satu clue di postingan ini: Banyak.

Pertama, banyak waktu dan perubahan.

Sadar atau enggak, percaya atau enggak. Satu hari, satu minggu, satu bulan, satu tahun, atau bertahun-tahun sekalipun gak akan kerasa kalau kita udah ngejalaninnya. Kadang kita terlalu hiperbolis dalam mengambil suatu keputusan, seperti halnya perpisahan. Ada saat dimana kita saling berjanji kita tidak akan berpisah, tidak akan saling menjauh. Ada saat dimana kita menangisi sebuah kehilangan, dan menyadari bahwa waktu berlalu terlalu cepat. Kemudian muncul sebuah pertanyaan, waktu kah yang berjalan terlalu cepat? Atau kita yang tidak sempat melakukan apa yang kita inginkan, bahkan butuhkan, dalam jangka waktu sedemikian tersebut? Atau bahkan terlalu banyak waktu yang kita habiskan untuk memenuhi keinginan-kebutuhan kita itu sehingga kita terlalu takut untuk melepasnya? Entahlah, jujur gue belum bisa ngejawab pertanyaan-pertanyaan itu. Karena mungkin gue akan ngerasa lebih baik jika gue simpan sendiri jawabannya.

Gue bocah yang suka membandingkan masa lalu dan apa yang sekarang ada pada diri seseorang, diri elo, tapi fatalnya, gue jarang mau ngebandingin masa lalu dan masa kini gue. Karena gue manusia rendah memori yang selalu memilih untuk membuang apa yang harus dibuang dan menyimpan hanya apa aja yang bener-bener pantes untuk disimpan. Mungkin salah satu alasan pintas untuk pelupa.

Dunia peka dengan perubahan, semakin banyak waktu yang berjalan padanya, semakin banyak juga yang berubah, baik secara sengaja ataupun dengan sendirinya. Dan semuanya nggak berjalan tiba-tiba, pasti ada proses untuk itu. Kalau kita merasa itu adalah sebuah perubahan tiba-tiba, mungkin itu karena kita yang jarang perhatiin sesuatu sebelum berubah. Atau mungkin, sesuatu tersebut terlupakan? Misalnya aja, tanggal 1 Juli elo pergi ke kebun binatang dan nemuin kepompong, dan tanggal 1 Agustus elo kesana, kepomong itu udah jatoh dan ada kupu-kupu yang keluar. Dan elo bilang “Kok cepet banget berubahnya?”. Iyalah, orang elo gak bener-bener perhatiin gimana metamorfosis si kupu-kupu itu sendiri. Elo Cuma ngeliat awalan dan akhiran dari cerita pembodohan tentang si kupu-kupu itu.

Yak, sebuah cerita yang gue banget, dimana gue ngelupain proses perubahan seseorang dari waktu kewaktu, gue cuman tahu opening dan ending-nya. Karena itu, semuanya terasa tiba-tiba. Gara-gara waktu. Maju maju maju maju, terus.

Kedua dan terakhir, banyak alasan dan keputusan.

Terkait dari uraian geje diatas, elo bisa liat, gak ada perubahan yang gak disertai alasan. Dan semua alasan-alasan itu kadang sulit dijelasin, terlalu sulit, karena ada alasan yang langsung, dan yang enggak langsung. Dan apa? Gue punya terlalu banyak alasan untuk sesuatu yang gue lakuin. Kemudian karena alasan-alasan itu, gue musti menghadapi terlalu banyak keputusan. Keputusan-keputusan yang kadang bisa bikin gue niat bunuh diri.

Sebenarnya, semua ini Cuma soal elo dan gue. Cerita horor-misterius yang belum berhasil kita pecahin, bertahun-tahun.

Apa harus ada kesengajaan untuk sebuah alasan akan perubahan? Karena semuanya cuman soal waktu, waktu yang berlalu dan harus selalu menyisakan sebuah keputusan. Yang kadang pahit.

Apa hidup ini cuma fiksi? Kadang gue ngerasa dunia terlalu palsu. Dan terlalu nyata untuk gue dan elo hadapin. Apa mungkin kita harus hidup dalam mimpi, di mimpi tingkat ketiga dimana Cuma ada gue dan elo, membangun dunia kita sendiri, dimana Cuma ada elo dan gue, dimana mimpi elo dan gue gak berujung, dimana kita mati bersama dalam mimpi, dan mungkin gak ada yang bisa bangunin gue lagi di dunia nyata. Dimana gue temuin kedamaian atas elegi Mati dalam Mimpi.